Mother opposes son's marriage due to fiancee's student loans

A schoolteacher in his 20s from Osaka Prefecture faces opposition from his mother to his marriage because his fiancee is repaying student loans. The fiancee intends to handle the repayments herself, but the mother proposes paying them off instead, leading the couple to postpone their wedding. An advisor urges respecting the fiancee's dignity.

A, a schoolteacher in his 20s from Osaka Prefecture, became engaged to his girlfriend in April and started living together. They initially planned to marry immediately, but his mother insisted on holding the wedding ceremony first, so preparations were underway.

His fiancee is repaying student loans with a substantial balance remaining, but she intends to handle it on her own. A supported this plan and wanted to work hard together. However, his mother opposed it, saying, “Student loans are debt. We will give her money. You can marry her after she repays all her debt with the money.”

The fiancee's parents cannot provide financial help and plan to apologize to A's parents for the offer to cover the loans. Disturbed by the situation, the couple decided to postpone the wedding until after the repayment is complete. The fiancee expressed frustration, stating, “Is it such a bad thing that I have to repay my student loans? What’s wrong with that?” A harsh atmosphere has developed between them.

A feels disgusted with himself for compromising for his mother's sake, believing he should have prioritized his fiancee's feelings. He regrets his actions and wonders what to do. Writer Hazuki Saisho, in her advice, calls A “pathetic” for wavering despite promising to build a future together. She notes the anachronistic idea of the fiancee's parents apologizing in person.

Saisho emphasizes that the fiancee chose to take loans for her education and is determined to repay them, despite the fears and insecurities involved, especially without parental support. This concerns her dignity, and neither parents nor third parties should intervene by paying it off. She criticizes the mother's thoughtless use of financial power to dismiss the fiancee's troubles. A is being tested on how he will live his life; inaction could cost him his fiancee.

Such family financial disputes highlight tensions between personal dignity and traditional expectations.

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