A single father in Japan seeks advice after his high school daughter left home to stay with her boyfriend, citing loneliness and his strictness. The daughter plans to graduate high school despite the move. University professor Masahiro Yamada advises against forcing her return and suggests further discussions.
A man in his 40s, working as a company employee, divorced 10 years ago due to personality clashes and has raised his two daughters since. His elder daughter, in her late 20s, achieved financial independence several years ago and lives outside the prefecture with her boyfriend. He currently shares his home with his younger daughter, a high school student, who abruptly left to stay with her boyfriend.
The boyfriend, around the same age as the daughter, assists in his family's business. His mother reached out to the father, explaining that the daughter had tearfully shared the hardships of life in a single-father household. She allowed the daughter to stay for a while.
A week later, the four—father, daughter, boyfriend, and his mother—held a discussion. The daughter refused to return home, citing feelings of loneliness living with her father, the difficulty of household chores, and his strictness regarding school lateness or absences. She affirmed her intention to graduate high school.
The father had prepared lunches and listened to her concerns, with support from his parents, while maintaining strict rules on school attendance. 'Raising children alone must have been hard. You've been strict probably because you want her to grow up,' advises Masahiro Yamada, a university professor. He warns that forcibly bringing her home could worsen their relationship.
Noting the positive presence of the boyfriend's mother in the household, Yamada recommends another four-way talk. If the daughter insists on staying, have her promise in front of everyone to graduate high school and maintain occasional contact, while offering some living expenses. He urges accepting her back without scolding if circumstances change, viewing this as early independence and a chance for the father to reflect on future ties with his daughter and her partner.