A Filipino wife married to a British expat shares her loneliness and homesickness for rural Bohol while living in Cebu. In Rappler's 'Two Pronged' advice column, Jeremy Baer and Dr. Margarita Holmes offer guidance on compromise, communication, and the importance of relationships. They propose equitable solutions for the couple.
In a letter to the 'Two Pronged' column, written by Jeremy Baer, a former banker with a master's degree in law from Oxford University, and Dr. Margarita Holmes, a clinical psychologist, a female accountant from rural Bohol describes her issue. She is married to a British expat 12 years her senior and previously worked at a school in her hometown. Now residing in Cebu, she has no one to talk to except her husband.
She expresses missing her friends and family in Bohol, while her husband joins a group of fellow expats twice a week, including their wives. However, she does not bond with them as she is older than the other wives and is called 'Tita' out of respect. She requested returning closer to her former home, but her husband refused, citing it as too remote for him.
In response, Baer states that relationships require compromise, especially across cultural differences. He suggests seeking employment or hobbies to make new friends and questions whether they discussed challenges before moving. He advises exploring their expectations to resolve the issue.
Holmes references the Harvard study on Adult Development, started in 1938, which shows loneliness harms health and that close relationships are key to happiness and longevity. According to the study director, 'Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.' She urges equal sacrifice and better communication, emphasizing no one spouse should bear the full burden. She invites the reader to write again for more detailed advice.
This column, published on February 15, 2026, is part of Rappler's Life and Style section, addressing personal relationship issues.
