A woman in her 60s is grappling with regular calls from her ex-husband's sister after their divorce due to physical abuse. As she considers changing her phone number to move on, an advisor suggests sending a farewell letter expressing gratitude.
This query appeared in The Yomiuri Shimbun's Troubleshooter column. The woman, a part-time worker in her 60s, divorced her husband several years ago after enduring physical abuse. Unable to change her phone number amid the divorce proceedings, she still receives calls two or three times a month from her ex-husband's elder sister, who had encouraged the split.
The sister discusses her own health and work, occasionally mentioning the ex-husband's situation. The woman listens without sharing details about her current life or residence. Now settled, she is contemplating a number change but worries the sister might obtain the new one from her daughter, making it hard to ask the daughter to withhold it.
Advisor and writer Hazuki Saisho notes that divorce impacts not just the couple but their families too. "Your true feelings are in the phrase 'I mostly just listen to her talk.' Every ring drags you back to bitter memories," she observes, suggesting the calls may stem more from the sister's need for conversation than genuine care. Saisho recommends sending a farewell letter of thanks and explaining the decision to the daughter.
"What your former husband trampled on wasn't just something physical," she adds, highlighting the emotional toll. This case illustrates the lingering ties that can complicate post-divorce recovery.