A woman in her 30s working as a public servant seeks advice on managing promotions and raising two young children without family help beyond her husband. The advisor encourages shifting perspectives to find relief amid the challenges.
A woman in her 30s from Hokkaido, referred to as Ms. O, works as a public servant alongside her husband, both pushing for promotions with long hours and overtime. They are raising two young children but lack support for childcare beyond each other.
She envies colleagues who balance management roles and parenting with help from their own parents. Turning to paid services for household tasks and childcare proves cumbersome, leaving her exhausted and at her limit. Given her age, switching jobs isn't feasible, so she asks for a mindset to cope.
Masami Ohinata, a university president, responds empathetically: "You're walking a tightrope with a heavy load on both shoulders while aiming for promotion and raising children. It's natural to feel jealous of women in management with parental help."
She advises finding brief moments of relief and shifting views: "In any situation, the good and the bad always coexist. Even relying on parents doesn't eliminate burdens, like clashing child-rearing views or excessive interference."
Facing challenges together can strengthen the marriage, Ohinata notes, drawing from her own experience raising two daughters: "View this hardship as a trial meant for you. One day, you'll look back on battling work and childcare as a life highlight that shaped who you are."
This letter highlights the strains of childcare in Japan's increasingly nuclear families.