A survey of over 1,200 heterosexual US adults reveals stark differences in how men and women prefer to possess certain traits compared to their partners. Women tend to want to be more attractive and intelligent themselves, while men prioritize wealth and seek more attractive partners. The findings highlight evolutionary influences on mate selection.
Researchers led by Bill von Hippel at Research with Impact, an Australian consultancy firm, surveyed more than 1,200 heterosexual US adults on six traits: wealth, beauty, ambition, humour, intelligence, and kindness. Participants had to choose whether they preferred to have each trait themselves or assign it to their partner, and indicate tolerable gaps between themselves and their partner.
The study found significant gender divergences, particularly on attractiveness. "Men will very happily sacrifice their own attractiveness to have a highly attractive partner, and women are just the opposite," von Hippel said. Women rated their desire for their own beauty at 7.01 out of 11, compared to men's 4.77. Conversely, men rated their desire to be funny at 7.08, higher than women's 5.81—a score below 6 indicating a preference for the partner to have the trait.
Overall, women wanted to be attractive and intelligent, preferring partners who are wealthier, funnier, and more ambitious. Men wanted to be wealthy and sought better-looking partners. The sexes aligned most on kindness, both desiring similar levels in a partner.
Von Hippel noted individual variations but emphasized the strong average effects. From an evolutionary view, he explained that women, bearing greater child-rearing burdens, seek resource-providing partners, while men focus on fertility cues.
Lisa Welling at Oakland University cautioned that the forced-choice method is artificial and may not reflect real relationships, noting it did not distinguish short-term from long-term partners. Steve Stewart-Williams at the University of Nottingham agreed the results align with expectations but suggested prior studies underestimated sex differences due to measurement issues. The findings, limited to self-reports from US heterosexuals, may not generalize broadly.
The research appears in Evolution and Human Behavior (DOI: 10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2025.106774).